It's Not Insomnia. It's Revenge.
You know exactly how tired you are. You stay up anyway. This is why, and it's not what you think.
it’s 12:47am.
you were tired by 9. you told yourself tonight’s the night. lights off early, real sleep, actually rest.
and then the day ended and something in you just refused to let it end.
so you picked up the phone. told yourself five more minutes. and now it’s almost 1am and you’re watching a stranger reorganize her pantry and you could not explain why you are still here if someone asked you.
in the morning you’ll call this a discipline problem. you’ll say you need to try harder, be better, put the phone in another room like a responsible adult. you’ll feel the shame before your alarm even goes off.
here’s what nobody told you. this isn’t a discipline problem. it has a name, and it’s not about the phone at all.