Sunday Weigh In: 190, My Period, and I Am Forcing Myself Not to Unblock My Mother Right Now
Emotionally I am not fine. But I am.
I am right at 190. I am on my period. I am bloated.
And I am sitting on my hands right now trying not to unblock my mother because the urge is so strong it is physical.
I have been here before. I have gone no contact before. More times than I want to count. And every time I think this is it, this is the one that sticks, and then the low hum starts. The wondering. The worrying. The is she okay. The does she think about me. The grief that does not go away just because you made the right decision.
I do not know if this is forever. I want to be honest about that. I am not sitting here feeling settled and clear. I am sitting here feeling like I love someone I cannot have close to me right now and those two things are not going to resolve into something clean no matter how long I wait for them to.
This is the part nobody talks about when they talk about cutting off a parent.
the low hum and what it actually does to your body
Drop your number in the comments. I will be in there.
