The vlog is above, and if you watched it, then you already know this week involved a scale that cannot seem to make up its mind, three workouts that left me significantly more sore than I would like to admit, my period arriving with its usual contribution to the chaos, and a decision about my GLP-1 that probably makes absolutely no sense if you only look at it from the outside.
Last Sunday, I weighed 188 pounds. Yesterday, I weighed 185. This morning, I weighed 191.
If you would like to know what exactly is happening there, unfortunately, you have come to the wrong person because I have several theories and absolutely no interest in spending my Sunday morning interrogating six pounds of fluctuation like I am conducting a criminal investigation.
I started my period this week. I ate food with sodium. I worked out three times, including a leg workout that reminded me rather aggressively that my muscles have apparently been waiting for me to start taking them seriously again. There are enough perfectly reasonable explanations for a fluctuating number that I can acknowledge being annoyed without allowing it to become the story of my week.
And I think that is the part that feels different now.
Because there was a time when seeing 191 after seeing 185 would have immediately changed the way I remembered the entire week. It would not have mattered that I had worked out three times or that I had finally started feeling better or that I had found a routine that actually seemed to fit into my life. The number would have arrived, and suddenly everything else would have become irrelevant.
I am becoming much less interested in allowing one number to explain an entire week of my life.
Because this week was a good week.
Not because the scale was good to me, because clearly she had other plans, but because I felt good. And after last week, when I was waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and trying to figure out whether I could tolerate the anxiety that had returned after increasing my GLP-1 dose, feeling good again was not something I was willing to overlook simply because the scale had decided to be dramatic.
I spent last week trying to figure out how to make my weight loss work.
This week, I started asking whether I had been trying to make my life work around my weight loss.
That sounds like a small difference, but I think it explains almost everything that happened this week.
Because somewhere along the way, I had started treating discomfort like evidence that I was doing something right. The anxiety was awful, but maybe I just needed to give it more time. The side effects were getting worse, but maybe that was simply the tradeoff for losing weight. I kept asking myself how much more I could tolerate instead of asking the question that seems painfully obvious now.
Was this actually working for me?
And the answer, at least last week, was no.
Everything that happened next is where I think the real story begins.
Because I did stop my GLP-1.
I did finally start feeling like myself again.
And then I made the decision to take it again anyway.
But not for the reason you might think.
Paid members, let’s talk about what actually happened this week, why I decided to take a break, why I felt so much better afterward, and why choosing to try again does not mean I learned absolutely nothing from what happened last week.
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