This is Between the Pictures, my whole GLP-1 story told one chapter at a time, every Thursday. If you're new, start with the Prologue here and then read Chapter 1.
249.8 | April 2023
If you had seen me on a Tuesday in the spring of 2023, you would have had no idea anything was wrong. I went to work, I did my job really well, I showed up for my kids, and I did every single thing I was supposed to do. Then the weekend would come, and I would stop on the way home, buy two bottles of wine, and drink an entire bottle by myself in one night on the couch. I'm starting with that because it's the part of this chapter I'd most like to skip, and it's also the part that matters the most.
I wanted what they had
At the end of Chapter 1, I had lost 8.8 pounds in my first month, which was more than I had ever lost in a single month in my entire life, and somehow I still didn't trust it. Every night I was on TikTok watching women share their GLP-1 journeys, and almost all of them were talking about a shot. Meanwhile, I was putting a tiny thing under my tongue, and all I could think was, wait, why are they doing a shot? Does that work better? Is mine even going to work?
It didn't matter that my own scale had already answered that. They were talking about theirs, it was working for them, and that is just my personality. My ADHD brain saw what they had and decided I needed it too. Add in the almost $600 a month those little pills were costing us, and my mind was made up. I was switching to the shot.
The kitchen, the needle, and my last chance
I'm pretty sure I gave myself that first shot standing in my kitchen, and I was terrified. I hate shots. I think everyone hates shots, but giving one to yourself is a whole different thing, and I stood there holding it, trying to talk myself into it. What finally got me there was one question I kept asking myself, which was, what's the alternative? I already knew the answer to that, and I didn't want it. This felt like my last chance, so I sucked it up and I did it.
I didn't want the alternative more than I didn't want the needle.
The B12 shot that did nothing
Around the same time, I tried a B12 shot too. My energy was so low, people kept saying B12 would help with that, and I've always run low in B12 anyway, so I figured it was worth a try. I was hoping it would give me some of my energy back. It didn't do a thing. I'm telling you that because I know how tempting it is to keep stacking things on top of your medication, hoping one of them is the piece that finally makes you feel like yourself, and for me, that one just wasn't it.
Fine all week
Here is the part I have never really said out loud. I was not happy, and I hadn't been for a long time. I felt like crap in everything I wore and everything I did, I felt like I couldn't do anything right, and I was so, so unhappy. And the thing is, nobody knew. During the week I was fine. I taught, I parented, I handled everything, and I handled it well. You would have looked at me and thought I had it all together.
The weekends were where it came out. That bottle of wine on the couch wasn't a fun night, and it wasn't really about the wine. I would just sit there and be miserable, except that I didn't have to feel miserable, because the wine took care of that part for me. Then Monday would come, and I would get up and do it all again, and nobody had any idea.
You would have had no idea. That was kind of the point.
I'm telling you this because I know some of you are doing your own version of it right now. You're holding everything together Monday through Friday, you're the one everyone counts on, and you're quietly falling apart where nobody can see. I see you, because I was you.
Then it started to lift
Once I started feeling better, everything shifted. I stopped drinking completely, and I mean right away. I started feeling better in my body, and then I just started feeling better all around, like I had finally come up for air after holding my breath for years. I didn't feel thinner yet. I felt like I was coming back.
I'm not going to tell you a shot fixed my unhappiness, because that's not how it works and it's not what happened. What I can tell you is that for the first time in a really long time, I wasn't just getting through the week. I was actually in my life again.
Then people started asking
I started posting on TikTok the second I started. Not a week later, not once I had results, but literally right away. And pretty quickly, people started asking questions. They asked in the comments, they asked in my Facebook group, and they even asked in real life. Where did you get your meds? What are you doing? Does it actually work?
Every single time someone asked, I just wanted to help them. I wanted them to feel the way I was starting to feel. I think that's the teacher in me, because I didn't have all the answers back then, but I wanted to guide them and I wanted to be there for them. Honestly, that's still the whole reason I'm here.
At the end of April, I was 239. That was 10.8 pounds that month and 19.6 total, and for the first time in years, I had hope.
Next Thursday, Chapter 3: For the first time in years I had hope, and I knew exactly who I wanted to show.
What's something you got back before the scale ever showed it? Or what are you still waiting to get back? Tell me in the comments. I read every single one.
This was the hardest chapter so far to write, and I'm really glad you're the one reading it.
Rooting for you always,
Nyk
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I'm not a doctor. This is my experience, not medical advice. Please talk to your prescriber about anything related to your medication or your health. And if any part of this chapter feels a little too familiar, please reach out to someone you trust.